Saturday, September 17, 2016

Daas Torah Blog: Child abuse: Michael Schlesinger refuses to let Beth's twins spend Shabbos with her and must instead spend it with a non-Jewish nanny

As published on the Daas Torah blog http://daattorah.blogspot.com/2016/09/child-abuse-michael-schlesinger-refuses.html
Thursday, September 15, 2016 

Guest Blog Post by Adrian Alexander, brother to Beth Alexander, the mother of the Schlesinger twins in Vienna. Since 2011, following a series of bizarre court rulings, Beth has been denied custody of the twins. Access to her children and her rights are severely restricted.

At the beginning of last week's parsha, which is usually read during the month of Ellul, the Torah teaches us how scrupulous judges must be when it comes to upholding laws. “Righteousness, righteousness you shall pursue so that you will live and take possession of the land that Hashem, your G-d, gives you.” [Devorim 16:20]. All the commentaries are bothered by the redundancy of “Tzedek Tzedek tirdof”.

Rav Elya Meir Bloch interprets that “the pursuit OF righteousness must also be pursued WITH righteousness”. We are not merely being taught to run AFTER justice. We are told to run AFTER justice WITH justice.

Currently, reports are surfacing that Chareidim in Stamford Hill, London, have set up a £1m fund for child custody cases with the aim being to support the ‘frum’ parent against the ‘modern one’ who intends to take the children outside of their community. These funds are to pay for the legal fees to ensure the parent who wishes to keep the children inside wins custody. You can see those reports here helpbeth.blogspot.co.il/2016/09/chareidim-raise-1m-for-child-custody.html

It is not an issue specific to the Stamford Hill community. The Jewish community of Vienna has demonstrated how far a community will go to protect one of their own. It is not only an unlimited supply of funds that can be brought to a custody battle. Communal shunning, false rumour peddling ( http://daattorah.blogspot.com/2014/04/schlesinger-twins-beths-friend.html ) , influence over Jewish organisations (like ESRA http://www.esra.at/ ), links to the  judiciary ( http://daattorah.blogspot.com/2014/12/schlesinger-twins-who-is-judge.html ) are just some of the tools that were weaponised in the determination to remove the Schlesinger twins from their mother.

This was noted by Rabbi Guttentag back in 2012. helpbeth.blogspot.co.il/p/rabbinic-emails-that-have-been-ignored.html

“From what it appears in this situation, however, and for whatever reason, there is an unfairness and an injustice being perpetrated against Beth, a single woman in a foreign country, without proper support – pitted against a family, in a community with all the connections naturally available to them.”

Child abuse survivors face similar treatment from the moment they first voice allegations. http://daattorah.blogspot.com/2015/07/gateshead-rav-on-child-abuse-it-is-time.html

Rav Zimmerman: “We have to wonder, how is it that there are those who err so much as to provide unlimited support to child molesters and won't instead help the victims.”

It is widely agreed that in a custody case, every effort should be made to find an outcome that is in the best interests of the children. There are many factors that are taken into account when judging a custody case, including the community in which the children live, but that is not the only factor. The reason why courts exist, is because each situation needs to be judged on its own merit, on a case-by-case basis. If such hard-and-fast rules existed, there wouldn't be any need for a court. In a hypothetical situation where one parent is a violent, abusive, criminal, narcissistic sex abuser, but lives inside the Chareidi community, whilst the other parent wishes to live in the “modern orthodox” world, would anyone really claim that it is better for the children to be in the custody of the violent parent? What is the likelihood of a child who grows up in an abusive family environment remaining in that community anyway?

Has anyone in these cases wondered who makes the decision as to which side of a custody battle the community takes? On what basis do they make these decisions? Do they meet with both parents and mediate? Beth grew up in a respected Jewish home, attended only Jewish schools and lived her married life as an active and participating member of the Jewish community in Vienna. At no point had she expressed any interest in living any differently. Myself, Beth and our older brother, all had a strong Jewish upbringing and want the same for our children.


Mr Schlesinger works at a local mental hospital http://www.wienkav.at/kav/ows/ZeigeAnsprech.asp?ID=23618 and regularly works on Shabbos. During those times, the twins are with a Filipino nanny. It is cruel that Mr Schlesinger doesn’t allow the children to spend Shabbos with their mother. On the few occasions that Beth has had the children for a Shabbos (approximately 5 times in the last 5 years), Beth has taken them to Shul (Chazan Barzilai encouraged the twins to join the children’s choir on the Bhimah) and given them a Shabbos or yom tov experience in her home.

A community is a powerful entity. When its capabilities are directed for the good, they can make enormous positive change to people's lives: Hatzalah, Bikur Cholim, Hachnasat Orchim, gemachs, countless tzedaka funds to ensure children don't go hungry, the list goes on. However, when used in the wrong way, a community can become a tyrannical force of destruction causing untold damage to innocent people's lives, men, women and children alike. It is nothing more than a bully throwing its weight behind abusers, child molesters and criminals to re-victimise the vulnerable. When communities descend into a hoarde of savages, they leave the door wide open to anti-Semitism, and no doubt they will be the first to complain about it. http://www.jpost.com/Jewish-World/Jewish-News/Austrian-Jewish-leader-Anti-Semitic-attacks-on-rise

Rabbi Arie Folger has recently started his role as the new Chief Rabbi of Vienna following a large media fanfare. Many people will be looking at him to draw on support from the international Rabbinic community and right the wrongs that have disgusted the Jewish world for too long.

“Tzedek Tzedek tirdof”? It is a pertinent and timely lesson for all our communities.

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